Thanks to Kathy Griffin, I now have the image of Sarah Palin sitting her ass in a pleather rocker and taking drags from a cigarette in between yelling at Bristol for not plucking all the hairs out of the pig's feet. And Bristol, how in the fuck is Sarah supposed to eat pig's feet without no collard greens? Actually, it would be moose feet and boiled pine cones. But I digress.
Kathy Griffin went and did it! Bitch forced the troops to attack her ear holes with a whole lot of BITCH BOOM BYEs at the Vh1 Divas Salute the Troops concert on Friday night (that shit aired last night). Kathy brought up Dancing with the Stars and then joked that Bristol is the only contestant who got fatter as the weeks went by.
Kathy put it like this: "She's the only contestant in the history of the show to actually gain weight. No, come on, come on. She gained like 30 pounds a week, I swear to God, it was fantastic. She's like the white Precious."
Either the troops fap for Bristol and they didn't appreciate Kathy calling her ass fat. Or the troops fap for Precious and they didn't appreciate Kathy comparing her to Bristol. Either way they poured boo after boo onto Kathy.
As soon as Bristol finished cleaning up the broken pieces of the analog TV her mom dropped into the stairwell from above, she burped out this response to Pop Tarts: ?The audience's reaction to this ?comedian? spoke volumes, and the decent people I know would probably have booed her, too. I hope people didn't have to pay money to hear her negativity and criticisms when you can watch my mom do that shit for free!?
You know, I'm disappointed with Tripp who obviously wrote this Bristol! In the last statement she released, she name dropped both KD Lang and the Indigo Girls! But yet she didn't pull out one famous name from the 90s for Kathy. Couldn't she have dropped Paula Poundstone's name, or even Rita Rudner? Someone. And Bristol also forgot to use the word "canard" again. We're going to need a refund.